I never thought that anything would captivate me in the same way as climbing, never believed that there was anything I would enjoy as much and be as motivated to spend my time doing. I have identified myself as a climber since I was a teenager and spent my entire adult life totally surrounded by climbers, my friends, my job, my family - my world has been a kind of bubble. A very lovely bubble which has given me everything I could ever want - amazing friends, adventures all over the world, experiences I'd never have had in a different life, ones that many people could only dream about and for all those things I can only be extraordinarily happy. Then I got a road bike.I learned through being injured for so long that I need something, to focus my attention on. It's always been climbing and during my recovery phase getting back to climbing was always the thing that drove me on, believing that I could reach the level that'd I'd previously attained. Last summer I'd been climbing a bit waiting for my body to sort itself out, and cycling quite a lot. I enjoyed it, enjoyed getting fitter, having something to do instead of climbing. During the winter I was feeling healed and started climbing regularly, training at the wall, and getting stronger. It felt good, really good. Spring came around and I had the trip to Majorca for work and play lined up. The month before saw unprecedented good weather and getting out on the bike was fun so I missed it in Majorca. But I was climbing well, I was loving the feeling of moving on rock and being smooth and comfortable. I had the focus back, the upwards thrusters were very much firing. I climbed routes back at the level I had been climbing before I was under the cosh of the sore back. I was prepared for a summer of quality climbing and then it rained!!
For the first time ever, I just gave up on climbing, I gave up trying to find the dry rock and the motivation, stopped fretting when I wasn't getting out, or going to the wall. I just stopped. Yes, I've still been climbing a bit, but I've chosen to go riding instead on more occasions, the sun has been out and what I've wanted to do is get on my bike and try hard. I've been loving challenging myself to get faster and stronger, been in turns terrified and jubilant when I've put myself into a race. I can see improvement and it's been great. I don't think I've been getting that from climbing for such a long time, I haven't been able to see improvement I've been playing catch up, trying to get back to how I was and maybe once I'd proved to myself that I can climb pretty well the motivation seemed to evaporate.
What I have come to realise over the last few months, and even years is that my bubble has been burst, or at least severely stretched!
I've punched out through the irridescent film, out into the world beyond climbing and what have I discovered?? That I've slipped inside another bubble - the cycling bubble! Once again I've found myself engrossed in a life that demands my attention, my energy and my drive to be better at something.
Will I go back to climbing? Is this a temporary phase? Maybe I'll get to a happy balance point where riding and climbing are equally important - or maybe I won't. Either way I'm sure I'll be focused on something that I'm trying to get better at.....
